Carrying out a divorce can be a very difficult task in case the two partners do not know the best way to go about it. This is an activity that involves a lot of emotions, and the partners may not be able to do it on their own, this may require them to visit a specialist who has the knowledge and skills of how a divorce should be carried out. The first step is to visit counselors who can try to solve the problem that they have, and if the counselor feels that they should conduct a divorce, then they can direct the partners to the specialists who help them with the divorce.
Before carrying out a divorce, it is important to consider whether both the partners are willing to conduct the divorce. Once they have confirmed that both of them want the divorce, they should then visit a legal team that can help them to carry out the process well. There are professional attorneys who have the knowledge required to carry out a legal divorce, this will involve the sharing of the property that the partners have together and the documents signed will remain with them so that in case one of the partners feels short changed they can visit the attorney and use the documents to sue the other partner.
If the partners had a child, it is most likely that the wife is the one that will go with the child if the child is still young. This may force the father to be contributing money for the upkeep of the child, this will be fully on the father if the mother does not have any job but in case the mother has a job then she can contribute a smaller percentage compared to the husband.
Some of the property that the partners had together may be sold in the process so that the money can be divided between them. In case they built a house together then there is no way they can share the house unless it is sold and the income from it divided between them. Carrying out a legal divorce is of the advantage that in case one person fails to honor the agreement made then the other party will be right to sue them in a court of law and get them fined for the act. It is also advisable because it ensures that there are documents to prove that the divorce was carried out.
After the Divorce Happens
Once the divorce is completed and over, you might want to consider a few items that need to be done. These are important items that may require the assistance of a professional. Some of these items on the list can easily be completed alone. The entire divorce may leave you feeling unorganized due to the changes. There are some very important tasks that will need to be put in order. This will require you to take note and ensure that the checklist is completed and tended to.
The Vital Checklist
The following items will be your post divorce list. Keep this uncomplicated and view the items of this list with care. The checking off of items will leave you feeling confident and orderly. This will be the start of your divorced lifestyle. Some of these items include the following list:
* Be certain to update your address information; this will include your credit card company
* check the names on the utility bills
* be certain that you obtain the copy of your divorce decree
* you may need to keep your former spouse’s social security number for future reference and tax returns
* be certain to obtain auto insurance
* close any joint accounts
* obtain your own personal credit report
* find out if you are covered by health insurance
* if you have minor children, be certain to notify the school of all divorce arrangements
* check to see if your former spouse will need to sign any IRS forms
* you will need to keep track of your children’s medical costs and insurance claims
* if your name has changed, you will need to update all legal documents
* keep in mind, a ten year marriage will leave you entitled to your spouse’s social security benefits
* draw up your own budget and spending plan
* if child support or alimony is a condition of the divorce, be certain that it is set-up logically and routinely
* be sure that health insurance is in order. Make any needed changes
* go over all joint credit cards and make certain that you will be the responsible party for yourself only. Remove the name of your former spouse
* change all wills, powers of attorney, and advance directives
This is a very good start for a post divorce checklist. Take your time and if you feel overwhelmed, you can keep in mind that there is support and help available to you. The divorce is a process. You might even add items to this list as you go through the process.
You made it through the divorce, now what? If you are emotionally in a place to move on there is one important aspect that you need to consider, should you change your last name? In some cases there may be children involved, and in others you may professionally have been going by an ex’s last name for years. There could be a possibility of remarriage and too many name changes could be expensive and time consuming, and there is all the paperwork involved for government purposes; these factors should weigh greatly on your decision.
There are two times one could consider their name change, during and after the divorce dealings. If you already are set on a name change, then during the divorce would be a straightforward and easier process. In the new age world, there are many more name change options available than you may even know. There is the option to go back to your maiden name, hyphenate their name or some are choosing new last names all together!
Once you have made your decision start making lists. These lists should include all the organizations you will need to change your name with. This list can include, but not limited to, friends and family, co-workers, schools, doctors, insurance companies, financial institutions, etc. Be sure to check with your regional court clerk to find out the proper process to change your name, some states require more paperwork than others.
One final thing to consider in the name changing process is if you will be changing your children’s name. This process can be a little more complicated because most times it is necessary for your ex-spouse to agree to this, however the courts do have some jurisdiction to do what is in the best interest of the child. Also, changing a name does not change the legal depictions of the child’s parents. This is only done through legal adoption or a custody injunction.
Whatever your choice may be, prepare to hear opinions from everyone. There will be people who don’t understand but as long as you are firm in your choice, that doesn’t matter. Be sure to rectify those who incorrectly call you by your previous name. Being confident and consistent will eliminate anxiety.
While you were married, the idea of new romantic conquests may have seemed exciting and exotic. Now, the reality is scary and a stone is sitting in the pit of your stomach. Luckily, getting back out there is as easy as riding a bicycle. While bruises and bumps may be inevitable, a few tips will make dating a fun adventure and a great way to make new friends.
1. Do take it easy.
Dating does not equal relationship. No one should expect you to jump on the bull as soon as you enter the ring. Take your time, heal, get comfortable with your new surroundings and learn who you are as a single person again. You may have forgotten what you like and dislike in romantic partnerships. Have fun while re-learning this side of yourself.
2. Don’t get caught up in puppy love.
After feeling down and out post-divorce, the attention of a new person may make you feel young and alive again. Enjoy it. Revel in it. Just don’t run away with the idea of it. Remember that no one is perfect, and your new love interest will eventually show his or her flaws. Some flaws, you may be able to deal with and others you won’t.
3. Do think of how your kids feel before introducing them to someone new.
You may be certain that your children will like your new partner as much as you do. Perhaps they will… with time. Divorce affects children as much as parents, if not more. Take the time to help them understand the break-up first. Set aside parent-child outings. Don’t integrate your children into your new social life too fast or with too much intensity. They may need to feel security more than you realize, and casually introducing them to new people can be the equivalent of shaking the floor under their feet. You also don’t want your children to become attached to a person who won’t stay long-term.
4. Don’t ignore important signs.
Understand what you’re looking for and don’t settle for anything less or ask for more. Also, pay attention to any warning signs that your date may give off. Diving into the divorcee pool may seem like a great option. After all, they know where you’re coming from. Just be weary of unresolved baggage, anger issues or clingy behavior.