John thought he might smooth things over with a little Chipotle and some good old-fashioned ass-kissing. I nervously devoured my burrito, nodding on cue and making appropriate responses in feigned acquiescence. After a quick kiss goodbye on University Avenue, I made what I now think of as the best move of my life. The fight-or-flight anxiety that had flavored life with John was revved to jittery new proportions, and this time, I knew that my choice would be B: flight.
What drives someone to the seemingly heartless “Dear John”* letter? My marriage had crossed a line that I simply couldn’t reconcile, and I barely recognized the fragile woman I had become. A recurring nightmare haunted me nightly, and I woke each morning sick with the realization that it was true: I was trapped in the house with John.
Without hesitation, I left the letter on the kitchen counter, hugged The Lookout goodbye, and drove toward I-74 with Tucker sitting shotgun. I had no real plan but to drive all day, home to Minnesota, to people who loved me. Lease, job, and bills be damned. I tuned the radio to a country station. It seemed appropriate.
*Pseudonym, as in “Dear John”
[...] end your marriage then you have to find whatever way is possible for you to leave. That might mean leaving on your lunch hour like Emma, or getting your girlfriends and movers to help you move out in an hour like Swati or [...]
[...] today—exactly two years after I published my first post, “How I Left My Husband on My Lunch Break“—my memoir, From Splitsville, With Love: One Woman’s Quest for “Happily Ever [...]
[...] action like moving out, for your spouse to accept that your marriage is really over, like Emma who left her husband on her lunch break. I didn’t have to resort to anything quite so drastic but it did take my ex a long time to [...]
[...] series but you’ll be able to follow more of Emma’s story by visiting her blog. I read How I left my husband on my lunch break, Emma’s first post, and, as well as wanting to know more about her story, wondered why Emma [...]
[...] And for the opposite perspective, it reminds me of Emma over at Divorced Before 30 – she left her husband on her lunch break. They’d been married for just a year so very different circumstances from Judy but [...]
[...] starting a new series, Divorced Before 30, featuring Emma. Emma is a blogger and her first post was How I Left My Husband on My Lunch Break. The header photo of Emma’s blog is from her wedding day – it’s very telling and [...]
[...] taught her it’s OK to fail. She was married for just a year and as she puts it, .. “left my husband on my lunch break.” From there she went back home to her parents and found it was where her heart wanted to be. [...]
I think your blog’s tag line is my favorite part so far.
Making friends with your brain, indeed. Kudos to you!
I look forward to reading more here.
I just stumble across your blog! I love it and I will become an avid reader. I am currently struggling with seperation/divorce from my husband. This blog article have definitely gave me empowerment to move on with my life.
Just found you courtesy of The Red Dress Club. Such a strong post. Such a strong woman. Good on you on both accounts.
life in a pink fibro´s last [type] ..Why write when you can talk
Stopping by from the red dress club. I liked this when I read it a few days ago. Really such a great way to format your blog.
Stopping by from TRDC and cannot wait to read more from you. I wanted to keep reading (and I will – I’m headed to check out more of the blog now!).
Well – and bravely – done!
This is a really great post, and from your whole blog it’s obvious that you made the right decision. I think sometimes the uncertainty of being on your own is scarier than the act of leaving, so kudos to you for making it!
it’s a killer song and that’s the way i’d leave, too. which means i like you. glad you’re a part of the red dress club and happy you’re finding yourself to the tune of a paul simon song. like a said, this means i like you!
ericka @ alabaster cow´s last [type] ..stick figure saturday- ava is the new kate
SO glad you joined us here! You know I loved your blog when I found it a few days ago and I’m glad lots of other women are going to find you, too! Such an amazing story. So real (I know, because it WAS).
Cheryl @ Mommypants´s last [type] ..After noon
Good for you! Congratulations on your courage to be honest with yourself about your feelings and for having the courage to write about it.
Naked Girl in a Dress´s last [type] ..A Writing Challenge because the TV Challenge wasn’t enough
This is like a novel, but juicier! I will have to check the Fast Track blog and catch up…
Daree Allen´s last [type] ..Mary Mary- Be U
Stopped by from SITS and I’m hooked as well – I’ve been down this road too so I am more than a little interested to see how it all works out – I am rooting for you!
Happy Wednesday, SITSTa! I enjoyed reading your blog – your entries flow nicely and you speak from the heart. You are also a strong and courageous woman – it’s wonderful to meet you!
-Heather (purebebe.com)
This is like the beginning of a novel I can’t put down…
Lucy @ lucille in the sky´s last [type] ..don’t wear sunscreen
OK, I am officially sucked in. It’s a good thing my kiddos are going to bed early, because I have some reading to do…
Happy SITS Day!
Katy´s last [type] ..Kanga & Little Roo- bringing you up to speed
Stopping by from SITS and am just enamored with your story. I was divorced at 31 (and luckily childless), but now, several years later with a new old man (;-) and a beautiful boy…things look much different. I look forward to going through your “Fast Track” list (which is very handy, BTW).
Traci´s last [type] ..Pirates Dance Mix
Good for you for getting out of a bad situation!
Take care of you, girlie! Very brave thing you did there.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Good for you for getting out of a bad situation!
Take care of you, girlie! Very brave thing you did there.
Thanks for sharing your story!
OH wow! That gave me chills and made me cry! You are such a fighter and you left him on my birthday, no less! That’s an amazing strong story – Kudos to you!
That’s exactly how I like to do this – clean, no fus, no mess!
Keska George @ KG Style´s last [type] ..NYC Living- Reducing Clutter – Storage as an Alternative
Thanks for sharing your story so honestly.
Young Wife´s last [type] ..WFMW – Beauty Secret for Beautiful Feet
Rock on woman.
tulpen´s last [type] ..With The Best Use Of The F-Bomb Youll Ever Hear
What a brave and soul preserving decision. I admire your strength and am glad to know that your bold step has led you in a happier direction!
Jenn Erickson/Rook No. 17´s last [type] ..Fairy Cupcake Topper & Favor Tutorial Inspirations & DIY for your FAIRY FETE
i really enjoy your style of writing and the blog header photo is amazing!
i separated from my dead end relationship about 6 months after you. it was the best decision i have ever made. good luck to you on our new path and enjoy
p.s. i’m in ontario, north of duluth. hoping to get to minnesota soon.
mel´s last [type] ..still 15 to go
Teach me! I must learn more about your story. I just recently got divorced (Officially one month now) I’m 29 (just barely before 30, but still) and I have no idea how I’m supposed to live now.
Single? What’s that? Nine years together and in one week it went from Fab to non existant. I’ve definitely got to catch up on your story. I have a feeling I could learn a lot from you.
BTW, hi, I’m Pooba a fellow SITS girl. Nice to meet you! I will probably start stalking you now. No need to worry, I’m harmless. Really.
Pooba´s last [type] ..Fashion Forward And Back
You have fantastic courage.
Nolie´s last [type] ..Response cached until Wed 14 @ 19:00 GMT (Refreshes in 58 Minutes)
Happy SITS day to you- and congrats on the courage to pack up and go. Seriously. It’s one of the hardest things in the world to do- and one of the most freeing, rewarding and pavin’-the-way-for-a-new-life kinda things to do.
You seem happy. That’s usually indicative of a good choice.
hugs from Chicago,
Keely
I’m so glad to have come across your blog. Your words are empowering and I look forward to reading more. Congratulations on your big life change and it seems it opened doors to your new, happy life you have now.
Kristy´s last [type] ..100 Things
Congratulations on reclaiming your life! I can relate, as I was also divorced before 30, and couldn’t be happier about it. I saw my ex the other day, first time in 6 years, exchanged awkward hellos and went our separate ways. I was glad to see that although nothing had changed between he and I, a great deal has changed with me.
Rachel C.´s last [type] ..When In Need Of Comfort- The Empress Suggests Rice Pudding
Good for you to leave a marriage that is trapping you. I always root for marriage, having been divorced before 30 myself, but sometimes this is the only option. You sound so much happier and I am sure you have learned a ton from this experience. Good for you – I’m rooting for you!
Natalie at Mommy on Fire´s last [type] ..Mommy on Fire in the News!
Wow, what a courageous thing to do. I have found you through SITS, and have been browsing through your posts ever since. You are very inspiring in doing what you had to do- in the way you needed to do it.
Ashley @ Just Another Mom of 2´s last [type] ..Georgia on my mind
Interesting. I’ve just been dropped into the middle. It looks like I need to find some back story.
Kim @ Cheap Chic Home´s last [type] ..Dining Room Reveal
I can feel your sense of freedom driving away in that car. I hope to have that feeling someday soon.
I think that we may have a lot in common. I too was married to a John. He crossed a line and I had to leave him when I was 24. It was the single best thing that happened to me. I can’t wait to read more. I will be following.
Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity´s last [type] ..Im a Thrifty Gal
Wow. That took some strength, courage and willpower to pick up and go. It was probably better that way because you know in your heart that facing him would have never worked. Glad to see you have risen above the stigma of the divorce label people tend to put on it. It happens to the best of people. I hope to never get to that point in my life, but people are people. Husbands and wives are just people in love trying to make a life work together. And when it doesn’t work anymore then what do you have left? If you love some one enough then let them go, let them be happy. You sound really happy and I love your way with your words. I’m going to read more.
Tiffany´s last [type] ..Beautiful Blogging