I too am going through what you went through. I suppressed my fears and worries and did the next logical thing that I thought to do — and I married and am still married to a great guy. For two whole years I pushed down those feelings and didn’t address them. Didn’t want to admit that I was not happy, I was not ready to be married — and that despite the fact that he is a great person — he might not be the person for me. I too have learned not to judge. I had been cheated on and swore I would never do it. Turns out I did and it was just what I needed (however wrong) to realize that I cannot live my life unhappy and that I’m not doing my husband a favor either. So while I don’t condone cheating, I will never judge anyone unless I too have been in their shoes.

I’m hoping your blog will give me strength and I journey into finding out what is right.

“I mean, I want to think at this age I can kindly say “I was married really young and when the two of us grew up it was over.” Without having to worry about appearing as baggage – Why do so many sites and resources try to tell me how to reveal my baggage?

I don’t have baggage, I have experience from my marriage like when I finished my masters, bought a house, etc etc – what baggage? Doesn’t everyone from a long term relationship have the same baggage? Wouldn’t most people have a long term relationship under their belt by my age?”

There are all manner of judgments, most of which we learn to toss aside as we get a bit older. If we’re smart enough to take the time to know an individual, rather than a label, which captures little of the real experience of a person’s life.

Just discovered your blog. Good stuff.

Blizzard of 2010: Speechless