Divorced Before 30

The last weekend in October was going to be a busy one. I was invited to a girls’-night-out party on Friday, and I was having dinner with The Geek on Saturday. Because I refuse to let go of back-to-school shopping, I had some new wardrobe indulgences to bust out for the occasions. Never you mind that I wasn’t in school. Fall just feels like a fresh start to me. In fact, I feel more compelled to set my intentions—resolutions, if you must—in September than I do on January 1. But I digress. I had some cute new clothes and a pair of black boots that made me smile and didn’t hurt my feet. And best of all, none of them were haunted by memories of my ex, good or bad.

The girls’ night out was, in theory, fun. However, things took an unexpected twist. The Geek and I had two mutual friends, and it just so happened that they were at the party (the gals, not the geek). A few days earlier, I had asked Gal #1 what she thought of his geekiness, and she’d given him two thumbs up. Perfect, right? Well, Gal #2 didn’t know that I’d “met” him on match.com. In fact, she had no idea that I knew him at all. We hadn’t been at the party more than 15 minutes when Gal #2 excitedly confessed to me and Gal #1 that she was sleeping with none other than The Geek!

Gal #1 and I looked at each other with wide eyes. Should I have blurted out the truth then and there? Maybe. But Gal #2 seemed so happy, and I didn’t see the point in getting involved. So I kept quiet, poured myself a glass of wine, and did the girls’ night thing. When I got home that night, I e-mailed that damn geek a piece of my mind. We had talked about these two friends just a couple of days before, and he just said stuff like, “Oh, I love Gal #1 and Gal #2!” Yes. Apparently.

After canceling my date, I stayed home Saturday night and watched a movie with my dog. The Geek had called me that morning wondering why I wouldn’t go out with him anyway. I told him that—wasn’t it obvious?!—I really liked Gal #2 and thought he should figure out what the hell he was doing. My disgust was lost on him entirely. And he was supposedly one of the “good guys!” Maybe I wasn’t cut out for dating after all.

Thank God I had a “pseudo date” planned with my friend Josh for Tuesday night. The timing couldn’t have been better. I’d known him for 11 years and knew he was a salt-of-the-earth good guy. He’d been on match.com for a while now, so I hoped he’d have some good advice for me. At the very least, I knew we’d have a good time going to a play and grabbing a bite to eat, and, unlike a real date, I wouldn’t have to waste any energy wondering what he was thinking. And, my favorite perk of the pseudo date: No bullshit detector required.