And he came back at me with:
I know that I sound like a broken record here, seemingly repeating everything you say, but I oh so totally agree about the naturalness of last night. It’s been a good while since I’ve felt like that and I forgot how much I miss(ed) it. And when you flipped over at one point and said something to the effect of, “I just don’t want to mess things up,” that pretty much summed up what I had been thinking for hours too. And why, I think, it was so difficult to make the next move. You grabbing my hand and arm that first time went a long way to alleviating that fear of “maybe it’s not mutual and this will cause major awkwardness.”
The fact that I do “get it” is what has led me to want to be a little cautious. I just feel like when I was in the early stages of [recovering from a bad break-up], what I thought didn’t always match up nicely with what I was feeling, and I just want to make sure about these things, you know? I was really happy to hear about the inexplicable happiness, and in fact, I don’t think if you hadn’t said that that I would have been nearly as receptive to anything happening. And now having heard (most of) the whole story, I recognize that you been dealing with [the demise of your marriage] for much longer than I previously thought. So I guess I’ll try not to worry about you in that way, but that’s not going to be the easiest thing in the world. 
Hope you consider that a compliment…
So, what next? I’m up at Spen’s cabin this weekend, but hang out next week maybe?
Josh
What next, indeed? A smart woman would try to be casual. Level-headed. Collected. She would remind herself that she’d only been divorced for six weeks and realize that, hello, the last thing she needed was to hurt or be hurt. Was I that smart woman? Hardly. Truly, truly, I wanted to drive back to Minneapolis that very night and curl up in a tiny ball with him for the next several years. I wanted to make the wonderful feelings stick.
However, the collective voice of reason prevailed (damn it), so we played it safe and made plans for the following Tuesday. So, I got to spend the next six days feeling giddy, paranoid, and all the other delightful emotions that come with the realization that your heart is entirely susceptible, ready or not.
My cabin made the blog!
So cute!!! I have goosebumps reading this because I know exactly how you feel. (realizing the demise of the marriage does NOT at all happen at the drop of a hat…it’s usually been a long time coming. and who cares if it’s only 6 weeks after your divorce. you deserve to be happy….yesterday.)
Those feelings of giddiness, paranoia and excitement are all part of it. Enjoy them, they sometimes don’t last long.
Sandy´s last blog ..Spit Out Whatever is in Your Mouth
Go for it! Clearly you both want the same thing.
I’ve had more terrible break-ups than I care to admit, and I promised myself each time that– no matter what– I wasn’t going to let it scare me away from trying again.