Divorced Before 30

Thanks to everyone who participated in the survey on my last post. If you haven’t gotten around to it, there’s still time! Today I’m going to share some post-divorce holiday advice from readers who have been there.

I remember driving to Thanksgiving dinner alone five years ago—the first holiday after my divorce—and thinking how strange it was that the previous year, my ex was at the table, and now, he was gone for good. I was actually the happiest I’d been in a long time, but that first holiday was still an uncomfortable day for me because I worried so much about what other people thought.

Regardless of how supportive your family is, many people probably don’t know what to say when you’ve gone through a tumultuous year that included separation and/or divorce. Thus, your first holiday season is bound to be at least a little awkward at times. However, it can also be an opportunity to make a fresh start. Here’s what readers had to say:

“Don’t go through it without backup. I had to face my grandparents without any other family around, and due to weather I ended up eating Christmas dinner alone at a Waffle House. Don’t put yourself through that—find a friendly place to be.”

“EMBRACE it. The first holiday I had post-separation was Thanksgiving and Christmas. And as tough as it felt, I embraced the freedom of going wherever I wanted for family and friend parties and not having to also worry about in-laws and obligations I really didn’t want to go to…it felt wonderful, actually, to have the ability to go wherever I wanted and really enjoy the holiday.”

“Create new traditions that make you happy. I got new holiday decor. I changed up the holiday menu. It seemed to be about getting rid of the old memories to create new and happy ones.”

“Surround yourself with people who will love you and not ask you all sorts of questions. I went through a divorce right before Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I was lucky enough to be able to fly half-way around the world to be with my parents who showered me with love.”

I hope that some of these words will provide comfort to any of you who are about to eat turkey for the first time without your ex. It’s a good time for all of us to take stock and count our blessings, even in the face of trying times. Cheers to all of you! I am thankful for this little community.

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I’d love to hear from you!

What are you thankful for today?
What is your favorite part of the Thanksgiving feast?
What new holiday traditions have you started (or do you plan to start) since your divorce or separation?

If you would like to share your own divorced-before-30 story, please check out the submissions page! Men are welcome, too! If you haven’t already, please visit Divorced Before 30 on Facebook and click “Like!”