In my experience, people often report that they’re actually stronger, happier, and more self-confident after their divorces. However, if you’re in the ugly thick of things—whether that’s negotiating your divorce terms, mourning the loss of your supposed life partner, or facing a financial disaster—that idea might seem downright laughable.
You may feel like the most unlovable person in the world. Or the stupidest, depending on what happened. Perhaps you suspect that—like Humpty Dumpty—your heart can’t be put back together again. You may feel like your friends and family (who are no doubt trying to encourage you) don’t know jack shit about your pain (they probably don’t).
Well, here’s another really annoying person telling you that—guess what, Sunshine?—things will get better. You’ll always have a scar from this particular life event, but it will fade. And like a physical scar, you’ll grow less aware of it over time. Oh, it will still be there, and maybe it will even hurt once in a while when the weather is changing, but you will rise above it. You will.
One day, you’ll wake up and realize that you’ve been given a fresh start. Sure, you have some new baggage, but it doesn’t need to hold you back. You can check your baggage, metaphorically speaking. You were born to do something extraordinary (Yes, I’m serious!), and maybe, just maybe, living through this horrible experience called divorce will help you do it with even more brilliance.
So, I ask you: What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go? Don’t waste any energy fearing failure. Don’t waste any fearing success. You get to decide what’s best for you now. You get to make—maybe break—the rules.
Have you reinvented yourself since your divorce? Or is everything still too new?
Do you have any goals that you haven’t had the courage to say out loud yet?
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