Today’s guest post is from “Not Your Cute Daisy,” who split up with her husband last October and just got divorced this month.
*****
I woke up the same as many other mornings, alone. I had to go into his bedroom to wake him for work; I was going to Church. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, and I could not take it in. I dropped him off at work and drove off. I knew that I had to make my decision that day. I had barely stepped into Church when I started crying. This was not God’s design for marriage. My fear in the decision was not a marriage failure thing—for me, it was disappointing God. Needless to say, when I tell people my decision was made in Church, they look at me like I’m a loon…
I was sobbing my heart out while those around me were partaking in praise and worship. My heart was bleeding and the pain was physical. Suddenly, all went still inside me and I had a moment of pure peace and calm. I received the following words: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Suddenly I knew that I was going to be okay. From that moment, I had pure peace in me. I went home, did my usual thing, spoke to my friends and started thinking about all the technical details. I started splitting the furniture and worked out a budget for both of us. That afternoon I went to pick him up at work and decided that that was as good a time as any to talk. We locked the shop doors, and I said to him, “It’s time.” He agreed. Both of us were extremely calm; both of us had tears in our eyes. We got home, I told him about my ideas of splitting and budgeting, and we were very clinical about what needed to happen. Even then he did not attempt to salvage what was lost. Even then he did not attempt true emotion or regret for the ways things had gone. Even then he did not come clean on the many truths that found their ways to my ears, much to his despair. Even then he did not say goodbye to the girlfriends…*****
Thanks for the great guest post, “Daisy!” I did a lot of crying in church before leaving my ex-husband, too. I’ve written previously on “Religion and Divorce,” and I love to hear other people’s perspectives and experiences on this subject.
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I felt rational, strong, and ready to move on. Realizing that if he did not want to be with me and was not willing to try, then what was left to fight for. Thanks for letting me stopped by.
Claire´s last [type] ..Accommodation In Chamonix
The calmness is what got me, when it came to the ultimate decision for me as well. I felt rationale, strong, and ready to move on…realizing that if he did not want to be with me and was not willing to try, then what was left to fight for. Beautiful post!
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Thanks Jobo, the only time the calmness left me was when I was in situations were people tried to convince me to reconcile. It caused extreme anguish, and that’s a sign that something is very very wrong. xoxo