Comments for Divorced Before 30 http://divorcedbefore30.com How to Make Friends with Your Brain and Move On Fri, 03 Feb 2012 02:34:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Why a Breakup isn’t the Same as a Divorce by Emma http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/02/01/why-a-breakup-isnt-the-same-as-a-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-21251 Emma Fri, 03 Feb 2012 02:34:06 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1838#comment-21251 Thanks, jobo! Hope you are getting the chance to recover from your trip. TGIF tomorrow! Thanks, jobo! Hope you are getting the chance to recover from your trip. TGIF tomorrow!

]]> Comment on Why a Breakup isn’t the Same as a Divorce by jobo http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/02/01/why-a-breakup-isnt-the-same-as-a-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-21216 jobo Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:49:48 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1838#comment-21216 oh wow, this is SO TRUE!!! I honestly cannot think of anything else to add to it. The last one, especially, SO true. And I hate when people would compare my divorce to a breakup...um, so not the same. don't even try .sorry. oh wow, this is SO TRUE!!! I honestly cannot think of anything else to add to it. The last one, especially, SO true. And I hate when people would compare my divorce to a breakup…um, so not the same. don’t even try .sorry.
jobo´s last [type] ..Think, Act, Play, Be…Different.

]]> Comment on Why a Breakup isn’t the Same as a Divorce by Emma http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/02/01/why-a-breakup-isnt-the-same-as-a-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-21212 Emma Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:07:50 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1838#comment-21212 Thanks for your awesome insight, Roxanne! The wedding dress thing is tough. I donated mine to a charity that resells dresses to raise funds for cancer research, so I felt pretty good about that. I gave the tax receipt to my mom since she had paid for the dress. It's a little more complicated when your kids want to know about Mom and Dad's wedding. I think it's great if you can keep some mementos for them. Thanks for your awesome insight, Roxanne! The wedding dress thing is tough. I donated mine to a charity that resells dresses to raise funds for cancer research, so I felt pretty good about that. I gave the tax receipt to my mom since she had paid for the dress. It’s a little more complicated when your kids want to know about Mom and Dad’s wedding. I think it’s great if you can keep some mementos for them.

]]> Comment on Why a Breakup isn’t the Same as a Divorce by Roxanne http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/02/01/why-a-breakup-isnt-the-same-as-a-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-21211 Roxanne Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:48:29 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1838#comment-21211 Great post. One and five are near and dear to me. What people need to realize that getting married really means you both are giving the power to engineer your break up to whatever state you live in. You don't get to pick the rules, you can't do it without a judge. And it can be very expensive. Number five, the label thing is so true. I wrote a whole post about relationship status for the divorced. If you are divorced and not in a relationship really you are single but all of a sudden, like you said, you are a member of the divorced community all the freaking time. Ugh. Getting remarried does help. My Ex-husband remarried so now he's married, yet I'm still divorced. It makes no sense!!! I would add the wedding dress as an issue you don't have to deal with in a break up. If you had a wedding, the dress was expensive. You keep it as a keepsake and think maybe your daughters might wear it. But as soon as you are divorced, the dress is "bad luck" and no one would ever wear it. My kids want to see mine so I haven't thrown it away but I don't want to see it so I haven't shown it to them. Ugh! Plus it is a reminder of the preparations for a "special day" for a new life that ended badly. And the name thing? Once you're married whether you keep your name or not, you lose your absolute right to use it without explanation. You can keep for name "for professional reasons" or change your name "for insurance or the kids" but there seems to need to be a reason. If you've never married, your name is your name, no explanation needed. If you're divorced, well, keep his name? change it back after having used it for years and go back to your "maiden" name? Ugh. And you will get reminders -- for years and years of whatever you decide to do. Still, your number one is the main thing. You can't end the relationship without assistance. Divorce is a legal process and there are legal consequences for failing to do it. Like years later when you hit the lottery and have to share the proceeds or for the fellas -- that if your ex has a baby you are the presumed father or you try to sell your grandma's antique piano and are told that you are unlawfully disposing of marital property. Yeah, breaking up is really hard to do if you are married. Ugh. Great post. One and five are near and dear to me. What people need to realize that getting married really means you both are giving the power to engineer your break up to whatever state you live in. You don’t get to pick the rules, you can’t do it without a judge. And it can be very expensive. Number five, the label thing is so true. I wrote a whole post about relationship status for the divorced. If you are divorced and not in a relationship really you are single but all of a sudden, like you said, you are a member of the divorced community all the freaking time. Ugh. Getting remarried does help. My Ex-husband remarried so now he’s married, yet I’m still divorced. It makes no sense!!! I would add the wedding dress as an issue you don’t have to deal with in a break up. If you had a wedding, the dress was expensive. You keep it as a keepsake and think maybe your daughters might wear it. But as soon as you are divorced, the dress is “bad luck” and no one would ever wear it. My kids want to see mine so I haven’t thrown it away but I don’t want to see it so I haven’t shown it to them. Ugh! Plus it is a reminder of the preparations for a “special day” for a new life that ended badly. And the name thing? Once you’re married whether you keep your name or not, you lose your absolute right to use it without explanation. You can keep for name “for professional reasons” or change your name “for insurance or the kids” but there seems to need to be a reason. If you’ve never married, your name is your name, no explanation needed. If you’re divorced, well, keep his name? change it back after having used it for years and go back to your “maiden” name? Ugh. And you will get reminders — for years and years of whatever you decide to do. Still, your number one is the main thing. You can’t end the relationship without assistance. Divorce is a legal process and there are legal consequences for failing to do it. Like years later when you hit the lottery and have to share the proceeds or for the fellas — that if your ex has a baby you are the presumed father or you try to sell your grandma’s antique piano and are told that you are unlawfully disposing of marital property. Yeah, breaking up is really hard to do if you are married. Ugh.

]]> Comment on When Will I Feel Better? by Emma http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/01/26/when-will-i-feel-better/comment-page-1/#comment-21204 Emma Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:28:02 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1830#comment-21204 Ugh...that would be really hard. I am really glad to hear that you've decided to see a therapist! I went to one about 9 months after my divorce and stuck with it for about a year. It was so good for me (and, I'm sure, for my current marriage!). Good luck, Kelly! Ugh…that would be really hard. I am really glad to hear that you’ve decided to see a therapist! I went to one about 9 months after my divorce and stuck with it for about a year. It was so good for me (and, I’m sure, for my current marriage!). Good luck, Kelly!

]]> Comment on When Will I Feel Better? by Emma http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/01/26/when-will-i-feel-better/comment-page-1/#comment-21203 Emma Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:26:16 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1830#comment-21203 Me, too! It's kind of hard to remember what "1" and "2" felt like now. I know I lived them, but luckily, it feels like a lifetime ago now. Me, too! It’s kind of hard to remember what “1″ and “2″ felt like now. I know I lived them, but luckily, it feels like a lifetime ago now.

]]> Comment on Being Confronted with Evidence of Your Marriage by Emma http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/01/11/being-confronted-with-evidence-of-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-21202 Emma Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:25:32 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1811#comment-21202 Sorry I didn't get a chance to respond to this sooner. What did you decide about the flowers? Not sure whether you were serious or not. :-) Either way, I hope that your "divorcesary" goes okay for you...it can be a kind of weird day. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to respond to this sooner. What did you decide about the flowers? Not sure whether you were serious or not. :-) Either way, I hope that your “divorcesary” goes okay for you…it can be a kind of weird day.

]]> Comment on When Will I Feel Better? by Kelly http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/01/26/when-will-i-feel-better/comment-page-1/#comment-21094 Kelly Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:06:59 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1830#comment-21094 I have yet to go through therapy, and divorced in mid-2010. Still feeling like I'm in a 3 category, I have decided I need to see a therapist to work through the wave of emotions that have had an effect on my current relationships. I feel like it's rather difficult to be around me sometimes, like i'm a loose cannon about to cry or delve into a whole conversation about my marriage and divorce. My ex is now engaged again and living with his fiance. It's so hard to see that he's completely moved on and I'm still in a place of healing. I have yet to go through therapy, and divorced in mid-2010. Still feeling like I’m in a 3 category, I have decided I need to see a therapist to work through the wave of emotions that have had an effect on my current relationships. I feel like it’s rather difficult to be around me sometimes, like i’m a loose cannon about to cry or delve into a whole conversation about my marriage and divorce. My ex is now engaged again and living with his fiance. It’s so hard to see that he’s completely moved on and I’m still in a place of healing.

]]> Comment on When Will I Feel Better? by jobo http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/01/26/when-will-i-feel-better/comment-page-1/#comment-20972 jobo Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:31:10 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1830#comment-20972 It does take awhile to get to the '5' category, but once you get there, all the other categories of feelings - anger, sadness, mourning etc., feel like the building blocks to the new you that you needed...or at least that's how I felt. Great post! It does take awhile to get to the ’5′ category, but once you get there, all the other categories of feelings – anger, sadness, mourning etc., feel like the building blocks to the new you that you needed…or at least that’s how I felt. Great post!
jobo´s last [type] ..Anticipation

]]> Comment on Being Confronted with Evidence of Your Marriage by TheCrazyMagnet http://divorcedbefore30.com/2012/01/11/being-confronted-with-evidence-of-your-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-20951 TheCrazyMagnet Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:34:33 +0000 http://divorcedbefore30.com/?p=1811#comment-20951 Oh lord, the moment my grandmother heard we were divorcing? She immediately took down every photo of me and my ex. Every one. My parents did the same. Glad I never had a conversation about how "we looked so nice in that photo." I am currently 4 months or so away from the two year separation point and about a week away from our divorce being official for one year. Should I send her flowers? ;) Oh lord, the moment my grandmother heard we were divorcing? She immediately took down every photo of me and my ex. Every one. My parents did the same. Glad I never had a conversation about how “we looked so nice in that photo.”

I am currently 4 months or so away from the two year separation point and about a week away from our divorce being official for one year. Should I send her flowers?

;)

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